#that’s why I hyperfixate so hard I swear to god

[randommusicalfluff]

No because it’s crazy that no matter what media I’m consuming my brain will always immediately jump to making tkl headcanons about it

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

no doubt ── s. jy (sneak peek!)

↳ summary ── struggling to balance a world tour, endless responsibilities, and...well, the sting of getting dumped by his girlfriend, jake finds peace & comfort confiding in you—one of his closest friends. what begins as lighthearted late-night phone calls while he's away on tour deepens into something more, quickly pulling you both into uncharted emotional territory. as your connection with jake intensifies, so does your inner turmoil—torn between the comfort of your easy relationship with him and the terrifying possibility of falling for someone you're not even sure you can have in the first place. but jake? jake has absolutely no doubt of what he wants—and spoiler alert? it's you.

↳ pairing ── jake x f!reader, [ft. childhoodbestfriend!jungwon, bestfriends!enha]

↳ genre ── idol!jake, friends to lovers!au || fluff, angst, crack

↳ addie's ✉ .ᐟ ── hai everyone, the freaking turmoil & HOLD this fic has on me,,,has me writing til 8AM in the freaking morning because CLEARLY ─ i have unspoken issues . anyways here's a teaser of my recent hyperfixation that i'm sharing with the world. at the rate i'm writing this every night (& morning), it should be out soon (hopefully) :3 also this snippet i decided to include is my attempt at angst...i hope yall enjoy !

also send me an ask/comment if you'd like to be tagged !!! <3

snippet under the cut!!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

“Y/N.” 

His voice is quiet, almost drowned out by the muffled hum of music and laughter seeping from the party you should've escaped from a long time ago. You stop in your tracks, swallowing hard before turning around.  

Jake stands a few feet away, his usual easy confidence replaced by something raw, almost broken. He looks disheveled, his hands clenching at his sides as though they're the only thing anchoring him.  

“Can we talk?” he asks, his voice low but unsteady. 

You stomach twists, but you steel yourself, "What do you want, Jake?"  

You shift your weight and instinctively cross your arms, a defensive barrier between you and the boy you spent too long letting into your heart. His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the vulnerability in them makes your resolve falter. 

He takes a hesitant step towards you before exhaling shakily, running a hand through his hair.  

“I—I messed up tonight. I didn’t mean to...," he trails off, his words fumbling, his eyes searching yours in desperation.  

"...to completely ignore me all night? Make me feel like nothing?" You finish for him, your quiet voice breaking despite your attempt to stay composed.  

"No. God, no. You're not nothing," he says quickly, his voice faltering on the last word. "Y/N, you matter so much to me."  

“Well it definitely didn't feel that way,” your voice is barely audible, but you finally look up at him, the hurt bubbling to the surface. “After everything you said—promised, everything we talked about…” 

"I know, I just—" he hesitates, his voice barely above a whisper. He takes a tentative step closer, his movements slow and careful, like he's afraid you'll shatter if he gets too close. "I was nervous." 

"It’s been so long, and I didn’t know what to say, how to act. I wanted to get it right—to make it perfect—but instead, I just—" he stops, dragging another frustrated hand through his hair. His eyebrows knit together in that familiar way that once made your heart flutter, but now only adds to the ache in your chest. 

You let out a hollow laugh, the sound foreign even to your own ears, “Well, congratulations, Jake. You managed to mess it up anyway.” 

“Please,” he looks devastated, his hands trembling at his sides. “Y/N, please don’t think I don’t care about you. I do. More than you know. I just—I don't know how to do this. I panicked and I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear."  

You look at him, your eyes stinging with unshed tears as you take a shaky breath, “Then why was...why was she all over you tonight? Why didn’t you stop her?” 

He falters, his shoulders slumping under the weight of your question, “It wasn’t what it looked like. I didn’t—I couldn’t—” 

“You couldn’t,” you echo, the words spilling out in a rush now, each one cutting deeper. “I should've known. Let me guess, she wants to get back together, right?"  

Jake's silence is deafening, and it immediately answers your question. He opens this mouth, but nothing comes out. The way he looks at you—eyes wide and filled with regret, lips trembling as if searching for the right words—confirms everything you’re afraid of. 

You squeeze your eyes shut, a shaky breath escaping your lips—the sound caught somewhere between a sigh of realization and a choked sob. No matter how hard you try, the wall holding back your emotions cracks under the weight of it all. The doubts you've tried so hard to bury suddenly resurface, crashing over you suddenly, each one carrying the sting of every insecurity, every fear you’ve ever had about this moment, about him. Your chest feels tight, your heart splintering under the realization that everything you were afraid of might be true. 

"Jake, I can't do this," you whisper, shaking your head. "I can't be the person you lean on while you try to figure out what you want."  

"No, no—Y/N, I do know what I want," he pleads, his voice cracking as he tries to step closer. "And it’s you. Always been you, Y/N. Everything I said before—I meant it."  

His words hang heavy in the air, the faint echo of the party music filtering through the cracks in the door and into the quiet hallway. You look away, refusing to let him see your tears finally spilling over.  

"You promised," you let out softly. "You promised you wouldn't hurt me. You said you'd prove that I could trust you, that I didn't have to be scared. You knew I was worried, Jake. And you hurt me anyways."  

"And I swear I meant every word I said. I still do," Jake says, his voice desperate. He steps even closer, his hand reaching out and brushing yours, but you pull back before he can close the distance. "You have to believe me. Please, Y/N. You're the only one I care about."  

You shake your head again, the tears now freely slipping down your cheeks despite your best efforts, "I don't know if I can believe that anymore, Jake. I wanted to, I really, really did. But tonight..."  

Jake’s face falls, the weight of your pain crashing into him all at once. His lips tremble as he struggles to hold himself together, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. This was the first time seeing you in so long, and this sight of you—broken because of him—cuts deeper than he thought possible. His voice is barely above a whisper, raw and pleading, “Y/N, I’m so sorry. I—God, please. Please give me a chance.” 

You look at him—at the boy who's become your safe space —and all you feel is the ache in your heart.  

"I can't do this right now, Jake," you finally let out a deep breath and take a step back. "I think I just need space."  

The words hang in the air like a death sentence. His breath hitches as if your words physically hit him in face, "Y/N..." 

Your phone suddenly buzzes, a text from Jungwon letting you know he's outside. You glance down at it, then back at Jake. For a moment, you hesitate, your heart screaming at you to stay, to give him the chance he's begging for. But your head knows better. 

"I have to go," you murmur softly, turning away before the tears threaten to spill all over again. You force yourself to keep walking, fighting the overwhelming urge to look back—to let him pull you into his arms, where you wished so desperately you belonged.  

Frozen, Jake watches helplessly as you walk away, his chest tightening with every step you take. Everything feels like it's caving in, regret clawing at him the more he sees you walk further away. He opens his mouth to say something—anything—but the words fail him, silenced by the weight of his own mistakes.  

The hallway falls into a haunting silence, broken only by the faint echo of your retreating steps, a cruel reminder of what he's just let slip away.  

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

not my usual style of light-hearted crack...but sum of the other parts are still very rom-commy bc im sucker for dat shtuff :3

let me know if you'd like to be tagged !

<3, addie

[autisticsupervillain]

Autistic Avatars not realizing that they're Avatars because they're just "like that": a thread

The Eye

Special Interest in the supernatural = constant food for The Watcher

You know about Interest? TELL ME EVERYTHING

"Hey man listen to me infodump about this horrifying ghost story I read for twenty minutes, alright?"

I need to Know everything about something before I partake in it.

"How did I Know that? Eh, I probably hyperfixated on it at some point."

I cannot be misunderstood so I'll beam the facts into your brain.

The Web

I must plan everything 200 steps in advance before doing anything.

I have prepared for all possible outcomes, I can now have this one conversation.

If I set up all these variables long in advance, then I can do everything correctly and Win the social interaction.

I cannot do anything before The Plan says to.

"I practice my social skills by talking to my spider friends." -Martin "Autism" Blackwood

The Stranger

I cannot socialize without being Uncanny.

If my socialization seems like an act, that's because it is. I practice it in the mirror every day.

Theater Kid

How do you Normal Human?

The Anatomy Class.

Assuming fellow Stranger Avatars also just have the 'Tism. They're not trying to be creepy, honest.

Can't do faces. Doesn't notice when you get replaced.

Being subtly off is too subtle for me.

The Lonely

"I have failed the social interaction. Let the fog reclaim me."

Talking to people is draining my batteries even faster than ever. I need to be alone for approximately 384,400,000 years.

Nothing can overstimulate me in the cool, blinding fog.

Nothing unpredictable can happen in the fog.

The fog is your friend.

The known connection between autism and depression feeds the fog.

The Dark

Why is the sun so god damn bright? I'm going to blow it up I swear.

Night Owl.

Everything's decently quite at night and people leave you alone.

Same overstimulation preventatives as the Lonely tbh. Dark and fog are good concealers.

The dawn is your enemy.

The dread florescent lights shall never bother me again. They break upon my arrival.

Can and will infodump to the monster under my bed. Even now it feels like it listens.

The Spiral

Autism makes getting other mental illnesses recognized hard.

Autism dissociation from body and mind. When did it become 3 AM and why do I hurt? Why am I grumpy? What vital self care task did I forget?

Literal mind doesn't often match reality. Reality is specifically unspecific.

Spaced out and wandered off. Where the fuck am I?

I'm not a mental baby, please stop treating me like it.

I'm not inherently dangerous, please stop treating me like it.

Memory problems my beloathed. Did that happen? I dunno.

What Is Time?

What Is Me?

The Gender

Why do things only make sense to me? What does no one else make sense?

The Flesh

Autism Genderfuckery = Flesh fueled dysphoria.

Meat is the only texture that's palatable. Especially the Mystery Meat.

Will never try any other foods. Too picky.

Infodumps about the horrors of meat processing at dinner and ruins the meal for everyone. More steak for me.

Hates PETA.

Double the arms means double the stim. You weren't using them, right?

Working out is a great stim.

The Corruption

Practices social interaction with the bugs who live in my walls.

"Insects are disgusting. I love them!"

Will protect endangered insects by any means necessary.

According to all known laws of aviation-

Relationship boundaries struggles.

Difficulty noticing sickness symptoms.

Is that nausea or am I overstimulated? *Accidentally causes supernatural plague outbreak*

Difficulty getting diseases diagnosed because of both Autism and noticing too many symptoms so the doctors assume they're faking.

Forgot vital hygiene needs.

The Bugs Are My Friends! They keep me company when I'm sick!

The Buried

Weighted blankets are insufficient, I need the Earth to reclaim me.

Avoid social interaction by tunneling everywhere like a mole.

101 facts about worms.

Forgor hygiene again. Time to become dirt.

Digging a hole is good stimming.

That guy who had to be buried alive to sleep properly. What do you mean you don't want to be buried?

The End

Aradia Megido from Homestuck.Com

That's it, that's the list.

The Desolation

The Autism Temper.

Losing relationships and friendships to ableism and your own disability constantly.

The Fire is a wonderful stim board. Watch it crinkle.

Just watching candles melt for hours.

The fire and thrill gives my life passion again.

Jude Perry.png

The Vast

Accidentally terrifying people by infodumping about the horrors of nature.

The stimulus of falling.

Nature/Space/Weather Documentary on in background always.

Okay, but from how high did you fall? I want to calculate your velocity as you fell through the void.

Weirdly enough... power scaling?

Power scaling is just the art of determining how easily your favorite characters can destroy mankind so... yeah, I can see it.

Brain empty, only terminal velocity.

The Hunt

Cat Autism

The inherent hyperfocus of the hunt. The chase. Your prey.

Studying the habits of your latest hyperfixation/Hunt assigned prey for days at a time.

I've spent so much time hunting in the woods that I forgot about human society. The Missing Person's Bureau have written you off for dead.

Returning to society to sell your wears and realizing you aren't human anymore.

That's okay. Social interaction is random. The Hunt makes sense.

It's black and white. Predator and prey. Humans hunting monsters. It Makes Sense.

The Slaughter

The incredible human WW1 documentary.

"Did you know?" *Describes horrible historic warcrime*

Takes apart puts back together guns from their collection.

The list of known casualties from this war is incomplete. With my help, they can expand it. :)

The Extinction

The world is spiraling towards its end and only you seem to care.

It hurts to be this passionate about a lost cause.

You Will Make Them Care.

[kyri45]

✨ISAT Sky: Cotl!AU Q&A ✨

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the ISAT Sky: Cotl!AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

Anonimo ha chiesto: sometimes when im bored i just go to your profile to position your pfp to siffrin's hands so it looks like they're holding you

I feel threatened bc if Siffrin would know what I'm making them pass through with the next comic updates he would crush me insteantly with a fist.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Damn Siffrin is dying and no one will ever remember them. 😔 Oh Loo~ooop!

Loop coming to save the day even tough they aren't paid enough for this shit

Anonimo Siffrin isn't aware of the hole in the wall you can go through for those two statues without having to get pelted by rocks smh my head. (said jokingly) ((Love your comic btw!! Thank you for this AU, I love it))

THE

WHAT?

YOU CAN GO THROUGH A WALL TO GET THEM WITHOUT RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE?????

Anonimo My reaction to this chapter of ISAT COTL CROSSOVER AU (10/9/2024) GO BBG YOU GOT THIS IN THE BAG!! OH YOU DO NOT GOT THIS IN THE BAG.. oh now you're out of the bag oh god ruh roh

Oh yeah he does NOT have this.

Anonimo pst hey hey are you gonna pose the statues, it would be funny i swear totally not more heartbreaking for siffr- WAIT HOW WOULD THEY REACT TO THE FACT YOU CAN BARELY SAVE ALL OF THE STATUES WHEN YOU REACH THE FOREVER STORM PART-

he has enough memories that he should recover a good amount of statues. It's not a matter of wheter or not he can save everyone, but mostly themself....

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hey so I cannot believe I am so late to see your ISAT and Sky AU because I love!! Both of them!! So much!! And I just wanted to thank you for making it and sharing it with us because it’s really cool! And both fandoms need more attention imo <333 @ucorpwhalingyaoi ha chiesto: I know NOTHING about cotl but my god your isat au of it has made me want to play it so bad 💔 (very /pos…) @primrosechronicles ha chiesto: HEYYYY ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE IVE SENT AN ASK!! Ive been silently reading the isat comic since my last ask and im very very proud of you for making this far!!! mwahh!!! Thank you for inspiring me to play sky again, cuz if not i wouldn't have able to meet my sky friends Anonimo ha chiesto: first of all, I came here from the shadowpeach au but your comics dragged my ass to the ISAT fandom second of all, HOW DARE YOU PLAYED WITH MY HAPPINESS LIKE THAT (love your art and story telling, I wanna eat it like a fancy dinner) @prince0fghosty ha chiesto: It's been hard for me to find Sky: Children of the Light content anywhere! I found you through a friend and not only are you interested in Sky but also Lego Monkie Kid this is truly the best day ever!!! I got back into the game because of you. I like to help moths out in Eden @phoenix-is-here ha chiesto: You are the person who introduced me to the ISAT fandom and I gotta say thank you for that. That's one of the best games I've ever played and I would have never known about it without stumbling onto your account first (because of a strong hyperfixation on a show about monkeys ofc) so.. Accept this virtual cookie and glass of milk as a gift : 🍪 Anonimo ha chiesto: I followed for the shadowpeach, stayed for Sky CotL, keep cookin

HIII!!! AND TYSM!!!!!

@elianaroselight ha chiesto: This feels a little silly, but what is ISAT? I read through your ISAT Sky AU comic and I feel like I am missing half of the story. I love what I'm seeing so far and want more, but I also don't know or completely understand who the characters are and why I should care about them (more than I do already at least). Sorry if this is silly. I just want to understand.

ISAT is short for "In Stars And Time". It's an RPG game made by @insertdisc5. ABsolutely go check it out otherwise you wont understand a thing about the characters of the AU!

when i was reading the most recent page of the In Skies and Time™️ comic I had the most hilarious image in my head of just a bunch of sky kids smacking down on the same area and making this. sky kid pileup????? [since it seems liek theyre all gonna come back like that..] it was super funny to imagine 30 CAR PILEUP 🔥🔥🔥

AWWW SKY KID MOUNTAIN!! Lol probably it would happen? Like when you do Eden just after reset and when you get reborn there's like 7 other players clipped in you rebirth animation in the aviary /home space

Anonimo ha chiesto: Awwwww Bonnie was so excited 😢

poor Bonnie they will get their comfort moment eventually

@sohrleas ha chiesto: YOU YOU'RE THE REASON WHY I got Sky 'cause I saw your isat sky au and got super curious about the game Your art is beautiful and I love it 💚💚💚

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO!!!!

Anonimo ha chiesto: HOPEFUL STEWARD WOOOOO-

IT'S MY BOY!!

@o0mochacoffee0o This isn’t related to you Bio dad AU Like my usuals- I just saw in your abut that you like CotL! Now you share two of my interests!! I’m curious to know your favorite parts of the game, if you have any ships, head canons, etc!! I always love listening to people’s opinions on things I love!

About Scotl? I don't have any specific headcanon, but I do ship Moments Guide and Reassuring Ranges. The only thing that I crave for that game is MORE LORE GODDAMN IT

Anonimo ha chiesto: When I said the fun was dying. I did not expected this. I'M SCREAMING AND PUNCHING THE BED NOOOOOOOOOOOO SIFFF

*sips coffee* welcome to hell (literally)

Anonimo ha chiesto: "is that thing a sadness?!" sweet summer child that thing is a menace of death

It absolutely is

Anonimo ha chiesto: Poor Siffrin’s gotta be absolutely TERRIFIED Big scary beast thing spotted them AND suddenly getting bathed in the color they associate with bad stuff? I can’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t be quaking in their boots.

He is in desperate need of comfort that wont come in like- a irl month I think

Anonimo ha chiesto: I know you won’t be doing the golden wastelands but… Once the party discovers that the groundwater has the same effect as the forest rain, Isabeau decides to bridal carry Siffrin the whole way. Leaving Siffrin a blushy mess. Also, almost if not everyone is scared shitless of the Dark Dragons/Krill (totally not projecting)

ooooohh that is soooo cute i'm dying!!!!!

Anonimo ha chiesto: THE FAKE ACT 4 LOOKING SMILE . THE ACT 5 EDEN MOMENT. THE PARTY BEING SENT BACK . DIES "oh yeah if I still have energy I can loop back" ← me when I'm lying

@starlight-and-clockwork ha chiesto: bawling and kicking and screaming and pulling my hair out THAT PANEL OF SIFFRIN ASKING HIS FAMILY TO REMEMBER HIM WILL HAUNT ME FOREVER YOU ARE SO TALENTED AND CAUSE ME MUCH PAIN THANK U<3

@aro-aces-world ha chiesto: I just caught up with ISAT sky au Fuck you /affectionate

Thank you! Be ready to be even more destroyed by the following updates!

@cherryblossomventi ha chiesto: I’m gonna go feral, Sif did that because he knows he can kinda come back from this with the shooting star thing Im guessing but the others cant/might not because they aren’t from this land,,, oh buddy why didn’t you tell them stop being cryptic idiot

Sif doesn't really remember that he can be reborn like in Sky. He knows only that, if he can reach the light right at the base of the cataclysm, then maybe he can return as well.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for arguing with someone over ships?

🧀⛵ so i can find this later

Yes, this is ship discourse AITA #294729472 you can scroll away, english isn't my first language, my apologies.

So I (16M (But 13-14 at the time)) am in a very niche fandom. As in, we didn't have any new content for the past 5 years and media is old af (2013), very few fans, most of us know each other already.

I used to have these mutuals Cheese (Not their real name) (around my age i think?? I can't remember) and Breadstick (Not his real name) (18M).

We all had our little ships, ok? I like the little (dumbass golden retriever boy) x (badass traumatized man) ship, Cheese liked the little (badass traumatized man) x (literally the same thing but evil and abusive) and Breadstick liked both ships.

I met Breadstick before meeting Cheese so we were already friends before i met Cheese. I thought "Cool, another person likes this little niche thing i'm hyperfixated on!" So we became mutuals.

I didn't anticipate that we would argue about ships, but oh well. So, i'm a very chill person regarding ships, literally any, although i do have NOTPs, i'm not really toxic about my hatred, i just go "Ah, not my thing" and scroll away not without blocking the person, but really nothing personal and no hard feelings, i can perfectly be friends with someone who loves my notp.

In fact, that was the case with Cheese. They shipped my NOTP, like A LOT. But I was okay with it, i mean these are just characters and all we're doing is being silly. I didn't take this THAT seriously. However, when I seemed to talk about my ship, Cheese seemed uncomfortable in some way.

When I was talking about my fankid (call me cringe idc) of my OTP, Cheese got very confused and asked who was i talking about. Breadstick came in and introduced my fankid to them, since he knew about it before. Cheese just started being rude, literally saying swear words (Not against them but, the context didn't really call for it? No one was being mean or mad), saying, and i quote as best as i can, "I don't know what the fuck made you think i knew who the hell [Fankid] was".

I got very mad about it, so i privately dm'ed Breadstick about Cheese's attitude. We began trash talking about them, which, i admit was a very trashy thing to do and definitely asshole material™.

Reason why may i be the asshole: over time, Breadstick just started complaining a lot about Cheese, and I could honestly agree, it came to the point of us disliking them to some degree but not telling them and not breaking the mutual, that could be considered two faced behavior.

This was partly influenced because of another incident. So Cheese and Breadstick where rambling about an OT3 (3 person ship) they had in common, basically sharing ideas and stuff. I thought it would be fun and went "Hey, I have an OT3 too, maybe i should post about it too". So I went and posted about it, but Cheese felt very uncomfortable with that, since basically my OT3 was exactly like Cheese's OT3 but one character is different, "basically".

They said "You have your thing, let US have ours". Felt bad and honestly, maybe i shouldn't have intruded their ot3 rambling. I didn't expect such negative reaction out of them.

In other occasions they complained about me posting a little too much about my ship, even though they did the same thing with theirs. And they also had a mutual that said "If you ship [this character] you suck and i fucking hate you. [character] is too abusive to be shipped with anyone and you can't just make an AU, that would just change him as a character completely" which, dear god, that language wasn't needed, right?. And despite that crazy person saying that, Cheese agreed with their take, despite literally shipping the character in question with another one. And abusively too, which like you do you, lord knows i do that too, but agreeing with a take like that while doing exactly what it is complaining about is weird. On the other side, that person wasn't my mutual, so it's unrealistic of me to expect Cheese to control their mutuals over me, Cheese can mutual whoever they want, but i can still be weirded out right?

That is without including them telling other people to kill themselves over shipping, so it was clear that Cheese took this shipping thing seriously while me and Breadstick to some degree didn't. Honestly another reason why i might be an asshole, clearly they felt their otp was personal and me not liking it + ignoring it caused a bad environment, mala mía, but what else could i have done?

So, clearly Cheese is kind of an asshole to some degree. But i think what makes ME an asshole too is when I trash talked behind their back and cut them off way later than i should've. And also, i guess i shoved my ship down their throat taking by how mad they were about it? I didn't do it intentionally though and i could definitely say they did the same thing too when 80% of the fandom and character tags was them posting about their ship. Again, small niche fandom for old unpopular media, we are keeping it alive ourselves.

What are these acronyms?

[the-era-of-shadow]

Mission: FOX FRENZY

Written by Aikshlin Rose

Cover Art by Aikshlin Rose

Chapter 1: Back to Work And Back to War

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS: References to illness

Author's Note:

Heyyy long time no see! So uh, if you haven't been keeping up with me in other places - a lot happened.

First and foremost, this and Mimicry of a Rivalry (which will be releasing its first chapter this Thursday (Jan. 2nd)!) ended up a LOT longer than originally envisioned - that's why it's taken so long to write them, that's why they're multi-chapters now.

Secondly, I... got a new, entirely non-Sonic hyperfixation! As I'm sure you can tell! (if you Know, that is-) (I swear I couldn't find anything better for the chapter title) And that's been taking up a good chunk of my time. Hard not to when I get into something still ongoing for once with a banger fandom and just SO much for me to make use of. I am a machine that turns hyperfixations into fanwork ❤

Thirdly, College. Just... college. I love it, don't get me wrong, but it requires effort!! Especially if you have six classes like I did this past semester,,, But not to fear! I've only got four this upcoming semester and I managed to score a majority afternoon classes! And no phys ed classes this time thank the gods 🙏

Fourthly, uhm... Guys, I think I wanna do animation? As a career? Reasons to like college: Helps you figure out what the hell you wanna do with your life! I'm still gonna be writing fics and stuff but. I wanna focus more on my animating skills from here on out, so... Expect some of that to be TEoS related~

And lastly, and the only downer one I'm afraid - my knee pain's been getting pretty bad recently, which sucks for morale and having the energy to do shit sometimes. But I'm doing my best to deal with it and I've got a doctor's appointment coming up soon so I believe this will get better.

And without further ado... Mission: FOX FRENZY!

[Next Chapter]

Unusually bright sunlight hit the eyes of an unsuspecting Tails Prower, offering, no, commanding them to come along and awake by its ever warming side, no matter how unwilling the nearly young adult fox was to do so. 

"Can't I get another few minutes?" Their mind uttered so instinctively, any countering thoughts to fight procrastination and get on with the day obscured by the thick fog that rested in-between the mental realms of wake and slumber. After all, in an instance of strangely beneficial irony, things had finally begun to settle down for the Freedom Fighters after the incident that had occurred during the visit to the Mystic Ruins, which was now a month or so bygone. No sneak attacks from the Black Arms, and barely an ambush from any badniks, why, for what reason would Tails have to start their day now, out of all times?

"Attention all Freedom Fighters! Please report to the main room at your earliest convenience for a group meeting with Princess Sally and Prince Nicky! Attendance by all members is mandatory!" Resounded the voice of Nicole.

Ah. For that reason.

With that, Tails begrudgingly got up from their bed and grabbed their glasses with one hand and their pin of the non-binary flag with the other.

It seemed like today would finally be an eventful day, so Tails decided to pick out something less casual from their wardrobe, just in case they'd have to leave the Sky Patrol, which ended up being an outfit comprising of an off-white button up short sleeved shirt with pale yellow polka dots, a pair of dark brown flared khakis that were custom fitted with an amount of pockets that just barely teetered on being excessive, and a golden yellow zip-up hoodie that had large patches of two logos on it - one being the logo for Twin-Tail Electronics, Tails' personal logo for their hundreds of inventions made over the years - and the other being the logo for the Mystic Fox Armada, the space protection agency that was not only founded by the Prower family, but still lead by them to this day as well. Free promotion and all that, you know?

"So y'all finally got back together?" Tails overheard Bunnie say teasingly as they approached the Sky Patrol's main room, adjusting the non-binary flag pin that they had placed on the left side of the hoodie's chest area.

"See? I told you everyone would get it wrong if you worded it like that, Nicole!" Sally light-heartedly scolded, jokingly pouting towards the hologram projection of Nicole's mobian-esque avatar, which Tails saw casually sitting on the desk just below the giant smart screen display that was placed behind Sally as they walked into the room.

"Of course, my sincerest apologies. Perhaps I should re-calibrate my evaluation processors?" Nicole responded sarcastically just before she gave the princess a peck on the cheek.

"Did you guys seriously forget that I'm the prince of South Island?" Nicky questioned, possibly only half jokingly.

"It getz a bit, ah, hard to remember, with ze constant talk of ze "World'z Greatest Hero", you know?" Antoinette remarked.

"Ya know, I bet Sonic would've groaned from that-"

Nicky fell silent for a second, suggesting that he was listening to Sonic say something from within their system's innerworld.

"Aaaaand xe did," Nicky chuckled.

"Hey guys! Sorry that I'm late!!" Amy hollered as she came running into the room.

"We slept through the announcement, I'm afraid!" Tsunami added.

"Yep. Had to come in and wake 'em up!" Rotor testified as he entered the room as well. “Took a bit of assessing to figure out how to do that without waking Vanilla up. She doesn't get much sleep already, so I wanted to be considerate,” He added.

"I see, and I appreciate your careful planning, Rotor. I do believe that we have everyone now, right?" Sally then said.

"Looks to be the case!" Amy assessed.

"Should we perhaps invite the Freedom Trainees back aboard?" Tsunami suggested sincerely.

"I'd say we let them enjoy their hibernation in peace. They've done a lot already, especially for the untrained teenagers that they are," Sally answered.

"Were you all not once untrained teenagers at some point as well?" Nicole teased, causing Sally's face to blush.

"Shush, you know what I mean!" 

"So, what's the occasion, Sal?" Tails asked.

"Well, at the beginning of the month, we were given approval from the Meropis royal family to have Vanilla move in with Coral so that she may start to work towards a cure for Vanilla's… condition…” Sally momentarily winced. “That just left us with setting up travel arrangements and waiting for a warm-ish day. Both of which we now have currently,” She explained.

"But as you all probably know by now, when we spent the night on Angel Island last month, it turned out that Espio had found a Chaos Emerald on the Island, and when we left, he and Knuckles allowed us to keep a hold of it in this here security chamber," Nicky added as Nicole sent the cylindrical container that held the shimmering Chaos Emerald, green in its hue, to the part of the chamber tubes that connected to the desk in which she sat upon.

"What we're saying is, we need someone to stay behind and look after the Emerald. Any volunteers?" Sally then concluded the explanation. Immediately, Tails' hand shot up into the air.

"My assistant drones can keep an eye on the Sky Patrol's exterior, I'm quite skilled at piloting the Sky Patrol itself, and that would give me time to finally file a progress report back to my parents at the Armada! It's an obvious choice to pick me, I believe!" They very convincingly argued. 

"Sounds good to me. We'll be counting on you," Sally responded with a smile.

"I believe in ya, little buddy!" Nicky added with a thumbs up.

"Of course! I can even fly the Sky Patrol over to the Merop Shore if you'd like!" Tails offered, already beginning to head to the control panel.

"That would be wonderful, thank you!" Sally replied, knowing that even if she wanted to decline, that she simply wouldn't be able to - Tails' mind was already in motion.

[mysticstarlightduck]

OC Explain!

Hopping on this open tag by @oh-no-another-idea (here)!

Imma go with Liam Steele and Dylan Millihan from What Lurks In The Hollow because that WIP is my new obsession/hyperfixation lmao

Okay, here we go!

LIAM STEELE

✨ Image ✨

✨ Song ✨

Break Stuff - Limp Bizkit

It's just one of those days when you don't wanna wake up Everything is fucked, everybody sucks You don't really know why, but you wanna justify Rippin' someone's head off No human contact, and if you interact Your life is on contract Your best bet is to stay away, motherfucker! It's just one of those days It's all about the he says/she says bullshit I think you better quit lettin' shit slip Or you'll be leavin' with a fat lip It's all about the he says/she says bullshit I think you better quit talkin' that shit

overwhelmed - Royal & The Serpent

What am I feeling? Can't look at the ceiling The light is so bright It's like I'm overheating This mind isn't mine Who am I to judge? Oh I should be fine But it's all too much I get overwhelmed so easily My anxiety creeps inside of me Makes it hard to breathe What's come over me Feels like I'm somebody else I get overwhelmed so easily My anxiety keeps me silent When I try to speak What's come over me Feels like I'm somebody else I get overwhelmed All of these faces Who don't know what space is And crowds are shut down

✨ Quote ✨

Liam fidgeted with his charm bracelet for a moment, in a compulsive, anxious rhythm, before taking a deep breath and closing his hands into fists, glaring at the bullies cluttering the street. "I don't think any of you motherfuckers heard me right, so Imma repeat myself - if you don't let go of that damn kid and get the fuck out of my way, I swear to fucking God I will bash your heads on the curb" He gave them a sharp, almost condescending smile, "And that's mostly because you're making me late for the arcade and I don't like that. Does that sound all good or do you need any more goddamn details?"

DYLAN MILLIHAN

✨ Image ✨

✨ Song ✨

Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson

Grew up in a small town And when the rain would fall down I'd just stare out my window Dreaming of what could be And if I'd end up happy I would pray Trying hard to reach out But when I tried to speak out Felt like no one could hear me Wanted to belong here But something felt so wrong here So I prayed I could breakaway I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change And breakaway

Fast Car - Tracy Chapman/Luke Combs

You got a fast car I want a ticket to anywhere Maybe we make a deal Maybe together we can get somewhere Any place is better Starting from zero got nothing to lose Maybe we'll make something Me, myself, I got nothing to prove You got a fast car I got a plan to get us outta here I been working at the convenience store Managed to save just a little bit of money Won't have to drive too far Just 'cross the border and into the city You and I can both get jobs And finally see what it means to be living ... So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car Speed so fast it felt like I was drunk City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder And I-I had a feeling that I belonged I-I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

✨ Quote ✨

"Look, none of us asked for this. But whether we like it or not, we're siblings and we're stuck together. More than ever, unfortunately, as much as I loathe to admit it. So we need to make this" He gestures around them, gaze lingering at the, well, still quite decrepit living room of the house, before settling back on Amy, "work out for us, somehow. And we need to stop being at each other's throats all the time - which, by the way, um, I'm..." It seemed physically difficult for him to say the words that were stuck in his throat, but eventually, he sighed and droned out the phrase, earnestly "...sorry for all the stuff I said. I was just really tired and angry, but I shouldn't have said all of that. None of this mess is your fault, and I don't think you're a bad sister, like at all. You're a great kiddo."

Dylan paused unsure of what to say next, but when he noticed that Amy wasn't frowning or sulking anymore but actually smiling softly in agreement, his uneasiness seemed to fade into what could almost be a smile too. "Anyways, let's cut the emotional crap before I feel sick to my stomach more than I already feel. Do you want some more cereal?"

Tagging (gently): @sleepy-night-child, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @smol-feralgremlin, @wyked-ao3, @topazadine @littleladymab,

@winterandwords, @eccaiia, @sarahlizziewrites, @illarian-rambling

@agirlandherquill, @anoelleart, @ray-writes-n-shit

@writernopal, @anyablackwood, @unstablewifiaccess, @forthesanityofstorytellers

@i-can-even-burn-salad, @cakeinthevoid @thecomfywriter

@thepeculiarbird, @clairelsonao3, @memento-morri-writes, @starlit-hopes-and-dreams @amaiguri

@cherrychiplip @thecomfywriter @thelovelymachinery @bookwormclover

@differentnighttale, @leahnardo-da-veggie

[anniflamma]

so…I spent like hours thinking hard on this and I can’t believe I came up with this..mind you this is my own Crackhead theory so don’t take anything I say seriously but it goes.

me and my aunt were eating dinner and talking about mythology and I told her about a really Christian man coming up to me and saying “because you don’t believe in god and Jesus you will go to hell” and my Pegan but said “cool ima go pet a three headed dog” and then my aunt told me “well Christianity doesn’t really makes sense to me because where the hell did it come from because the first prominent religions were ones such as Greece and Roman beliefs”

and that got me thinking, so I decided to do some thinking.

and I got some connections so Chaos is like the lord right? The very first and most powerful, and he created the primordials, that created the titans and so on, and then Zeus came along and screwed everything up right? Then a few hundred years later Persephone or what mortals at the time called her Core, and after our lovely goddess of spring starting taking care of all of the mistakes, such as taking care of the rejected children of Zeus and others, so I was like who the hell is her dad because she has the power of nature from Demeter but where did she get her chaotic power from? Her father can’t be Zeus because she doesn’t have any power of the sky, and it can’t be Posiden because she has no power of any body of water..

then I remembered Demeter prayed and begged for a daughter..and the fates are directly tied to Chaos so Chaos gave Persephone to Demeter..CHAOS IS PERSEPHONE DAD!! It makes sense to me when I think about it really hard..

and I also realized because the oldest version of Persephone was so feared..but because of *cough* Christian writers a lot of those stories changed because of that. Sadly I don’t think a lot of people know that.

I DO NOT HATE THE CHRISTIAN RELIGION BUT YA’LL BE CONFUSING AS HELL, and also please understand THAT NOT ALL WITCHCRAFT IS BAD I SWEAR I HEAR THAT ALL THE TIME.

okay enough of my rant I hope that shines Al title light in my head.

That is an interesting take and connection! To be honest, syncretism and the evolution of religions and cultures are my biggest hyperfixations. Well, I grew up Christian and now hyperfixate on the Bible with a more historical and cultural perspective. So I'm not really as confused when it comes to the Christian religion. If you have any questions, just ask, and I will try my best to answer them!

The thing with European religion is that almost all of them stem from Proto-Indo-European mythology. And that includes the Abrahamic faith (which makes many people feel very uneasy). This is why the planet Venus is almost always female and the sun is male, and so on and so forth! Many people don't know that the Hebrew Bible starts off as henotheistic (believing that many gods exist but worshipping only one of them, while it is acceptable if other people worship other gods). Then it rapidly becomes monolatristic (acknowledging that many gods may exist but only worshipping one of them, and it is not acceptable if other people worship other gods) and then ends with being purely monotheistic. Of course, the Bible has been edited and changed to make it fit more with the monotheistic view, such as removing acknowledgments of the existence of other Canaanite gods. And removing the goddess Asherah, God/Yahweh's wife, and replacing her name with "the grove" or just the Holy Spirit. And the Christian faith did get syncretized with Roman/Greek pagan faith. There is no hell in the Bible, but there is an underworld! It's called Sheol, the "land of gloom and deep darkness." But there is no deep dive on what Sheol really is or how it was in the bible. It was just the underworld where all the dead people went. However, Sheol pretty much got paired up with Hades in the New Testament because both of them were the name of the underworld, so it just made sense, right? But the Greeks also had Tartarus, which is the place in Hades where you get tortured for eternity. And that is where the Christian hell pretty much stems from, it's just Tartarus but with Satan....

This is just a rough generalization, and the whole thing is more complex than what I have brought up here!

I don't think, though, that it was the Christians who changed Persephone. Kore (Persephone) was already really old before Christianity became even a thing. It's a really young religion compared to the Greek gods. 😅

But the concept of Christian saints was created in a way so it would be easier to convert pagans. Instead of removing the traditions, ceremonies, and celebrations, the god they worshipped was switched with a saint that could fit the description of that said deity. So Saint Sebastian is pretty much just the Christian version of Apollo. A twink God of archery, sports, healing, plagues, and gayness was replaced with the twink saint of archery, sports, healing, plagues, and accidental gay awakening. A COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT!! This is my crackhead theory!!!

And about witchcraft. Even the Bible thinks that not all witchcraft is bad. What I understand is there is good magic and bad magic. Necromancy is one of the bad ones. King Saul performed necromancy and brought Samuel's soul back, and that pissed Samuel off so much that he cursed Saul's whole family. But then we have good magic, like I dunno Jacob makes some weird unclear stuff with his sheep, and they become really healthy. I think the only thing Jesus said about witchcraft was like: "yeah, you can use your magic for good, and that is a good thing, but you don't need it if you already believe in my Father"!

There is a whole weird rabbit hole on Christian syncretization with the Greek gods....

Then we have the ancient history of where exactly God/Yahweh comes from. There is this popular theory that scholars think Yahweh most likely comes from the ancient Mesopotamian pantheon. And around the economic collapse during the Bronze Age, the worship of then Yahweh became isolated, which created the ancient Hebrews. Essentially, it started with an ancient warrior-storm god that became a god of the whole world. And I'm not even going to start with Gnosticism! What is like Christian Polytheism but with steroids!

I'm gonna stop here! Sorry I kinda derailed!

[ochizokulevy]

Guess what!

*kicks the door* I am back!!

Aka.. i finally changed my writing mindset and this time, I am accomodating writing to my health/life needs.. and not the other way around (☠️ look, i am recovering people pleaser with perfectionist aspirations.. ☠️☠️)

I have (so far) 38 fanfic ideas (some are requests from friends, some my own) and 6 fandoms I am hoping to write for (hah, we will see how this will go. This purely depends on my neurospicy hyperfixations and well.. thats 50/50 hit or miss.)

Here's brief sneak-peak on few fandoms:

^ this is NOT in any order. Cuz order doesnt exist in this god forsaken brain ☠️🤓

Things to expect on my fanfic sideblog ( @interstellar-debris )?

1. House keeping: aka i DO want it to have like a fanfic library of sort. At least I wanna make masterlists.

2. Tag list implemented soon: once i will find how it works 🤓 (i swear im technology kid, why is everything so hard on this hellsite?!)

3. ... Chaos😌✌️: look, I have brain which brutally dethrones any and all tries for some semblence of order; body which works against me; new job and my favorite past time is trying to see how many plot bunnies (ie fic ideas) i can have at once.

2024 is gonna be the year, where Imma embrace the chaos.

We will see how this goes ☠️🤓🤓

If you somehow managed to read it to this point, thank you! Have a lovely day/night 🥰

P.s. any and all advices or either the taglist or the masterlist are very appriciated and welcome. I understand nothing, when it comes to this site 😂

[oflights]

Hiya! 4, 7 and 28 please, if they spark joy 🤍

hi!! hearing from you always sparks joy 💜

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

omg. god my mind immediately flashed to sex things lmao, let me think of a non-NSFW one...okay so the right term of endearment used in the exact place or time in a fic will always get me. darling, sweetheart, babe; any of those will make me lose my mind when they're not overdone because i think they can be so effective when used correctly/significantly!!

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

aww, probably just like getting to see how far my imagination will take something and seeing that translate outside of my brain. writing is just possibility!! it's so freeing!

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

god okay this might be a bad one for me because when i switch fandoms it means i'm switching hyperfixations and it's hard for me to see past one and look at all the others. so idk about MOST of all time, and i do miss writing tyson barrie from hockey rpf. but right now i would have to say good ol' HJP. he is so fun to write and i swear i write faster from his POV because i like him so much; he is a delight, which is why i get feral in defense of him!!! very protective of the harry i write tbh.

ask me weird writing q’s!

[royallygray]

Answers under the cut (also I do swear. idk how aware of that I have to be in this fandom but yeah):

1. (🐶 What hermits do you watch?) I watch Grian, Mumbo, sometimes Scar, Joel, Skizz, sometimes Gem, and sometimes just anyone if I feel adventurous enough and click on it in my recommended YT.

2. (😺 Who was your first hermit?) Grian. Although technically Joel, since I'm pretty sure I binge watched the entirety of X Life before I watched any HC, but Grian.

4. (🐼 Who is one hermit you haven't watched yet but want to?) Etho, because he's apparently iconic and I cannot figure out why. Pearl, because I love her and her vibes and also I watched her in S8. Gem, because she's chill and her Skyblock series's are amazing. Impulse, bc I'm really enjoying his Phasmo vods. False, because she seems cool and she is not one of the main Hermits I've seen in others' videos, and she was on Empires 2 and I just want to watch her.

3. (🐰 Who is your favorite hermit?) Joel. Not a cult. Never a cult. Before that, Grian.

5. (🐸 What year did you start watching Hermitcraft?) 2021 BABEYYY. oh my gods I was so depressed goddamn.

6. (🐵 Which season did you watch first?) HC 8

7. (🐧What is your favourite season?) Either HC 8 or HC 10. Didn't really get into Season 9, which I'm kinda sad about.

8. (🐝 What is your favorite hermitcraft moment?) Idk. Boatem moments. The one Boatem moment where they were sending the rocket thingy to explode the moon and missed completely and everyone got obliterated by the phantoms. The Impulse "oh my god" horn at Gem's base with Joel and tango and gem and Skizz and that guy that Joel's obsessed with-- sorry that is obsessed with Joel-- sorry--

9. (🦝 Do you watch any streams?) No, I do not. I find Twitch hard to operate at the best at times and completely unusable at others because of the devices I have available, and not a lot of people consistently stream on Youtube. I also don't have the time or patience to watch streams without the knowledge of when it'll end, so there's that too. I am amicable to VODs, sometimes.

10. (🍂 How many hermits are you subscribed to on YouTube?) Had to check my subscription page why the fuck am I green how am I green da ba dee da ba dai oh I'm stupid okay let's goo. Anyways apparently I'm subscribed to 141 channels total and at least four of those are tommyinnit.

10 (cont.) so we got Joel, Skizz, Grian, Mumbo, Gem, Scar, Impulse, Etho, and Pearl, which is 9 out of 27, which is exactly one third of the hermits. I don't consistently watch all their videos, but I am legally subscribed to them.

11. (🍄 Do you only watch Hermitcraft content, or do you watch their other videos too?) I consistently watch the Life Series. I have a dedicated doc to every season of the series and watch a ton of that content. I enjoy watching Gem's and Impulse's individual Skyblock series. I love Skyblock. I think I once watched False's too.

11. (cont.) I'm also incredibly hyperfixated on Phasmophobia, and I'm watching anything and everything that the GIGS crew does. Grian's episodes, impulse's vods, and I have no doubt that I'll eventually watch gems, scars, and Skizz's VODs as well.

13. (🌕 What is your favourite hermitcraft build?) Joel's base. WAIT NO SKIZZ'S TOWER OF SELF LOVE OR WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MADE ME CRY. also Mumbo's HC 8 base was sick. And so was gems. Also the Swaggon was VIBESSSS

12. (🌻Are you also in the life series fandom?) No I'd never be in the life series fandom why would you insinuate that I'm l still in the desert I didn't get introduced to MCYT by Scott fucking Smajor in 3rd Life noo I don't inside at any mention of flower husbands or basically worship the out of context videos and I'm totally not writing a fanfic why would I ever do that pffffffftttttt-

14. (🌗 Do you have a favourite quote/favourite quotes?) if life series counts, "SCAR PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON" is my favorite fucking thing ever

15. (🌑 Do you have a favourite shop?) iSoar.

16. (🌙 If you could join hermitcraft, would you?) I mean I'd have to get Minecraft first but absolutely in a heartbeat. Idk who id mix well with but it'd be so cool just to. y'know. meet these silly people who mean so much to me

17. (🪐 If you joined hermitcraft, who would you team with?) Scott Smajor. Wait this isn't the life series-- hm. Probably Scar. Maybe one of the mad scientists. Gem. Pearl. Hm. Maybe Grian? Idk how Joel and I would get on but like. id love to team with him. He's fucking insane.

18. (💫 Have you met any hermits?) No. Don't think any of them live in my state and I don't want to bother convincing my parents to ever go to Twitchcon or smth bc that would be exhausting

19. (⭐️ If you could meet your favourite hermit, what would you say to them? / If you've met your favourite hermit, what did you say?) EUGH GODS AAAH IDK. Uh. id prolly tell Joel he's a loser.

20. (🌟 Have you been to any conventions?) Nope.

21. (✨ Do you have any merch?) YES I DO IM SO HAPPY. I have a life series hoodie and a life series shirt that I paid for with my own money and now I have no money but IT IS OKAY BECAUSE I HAVE ONE SINGULAR HOODIE AND ITS SO COMFY AND IM SO HAPPY :DD

22. (🌈 Are you immune to the good times? (no, no you are not)) Absolutely not who am I to resist the good times?

thanks for this this has been a blast to answer :)

Hermitcraft Ask Game

I wanted to have a go making one of these! RBs and Asks are all good so go ham!

🐶 What hermits do you watch?

🐱 Who was your first hermit?

🐰 Who is your favourite hermit?

🐼 Who is one hermit you haven't watched yet but want to?

🐸 What year did you start watching hermitcraft?

🐵 What season did you watch first?

🐧 What is your favourite season?

🐝 What is your favourite hermitcraft moment?

🦝 Do you watch any streams?

🍂 How many hermits are you subscribed to on YouTube?

🍄 Do you only watch hermitcraft content, or do you watch their other videos too?

🌻 Are you also in the life series fandom?

🌕 What is your favourite hermitcraft build?

🌗 Do you have a favourite quote/favourite quotes?

🌑 Do you have a favourite shop?

🌙 If you could join hermitcraft, would you?

🪐 If you joined hermitcraft, who would you team with?

💫 Have you met any hermits?

⭐️ If you could meet your favourite hermit, what would you say to them? / If you've met your favourite hermit, what did you say?

🌟 Have you been to any conventions?

✨ Do you have any merch?

🌈 Are you immune to the good times? (no, no you are not)

[itsgirlcraft]

Vent

TW body horror vent art (dismemberment, blood, twisted limbs), swearing, lots of caps

Tl;dr: online college reading makes my back ache and my anxiety is off the charts. I keep hyperfixating and tensing my body too much when not doing school, so I'm wasting my energy and getting bad sleep. I want to quit psychology but I fear that's the cowards way out. I'm running out of meds so I only have today and Saturday to get ~5 hrs of reading done.

I'm so fucking tired and half of its my fucking fault. This whole godamn week, actually since I started college, I've had shit ass sleep and no rest and I fucking HATE IT but I KEEP DOING IT AND

FUCK!!!

I'm sorry I know that like all of you mutuals have it hard too I don't wanna put my stupid self-sabotaging bullshit on your shoulders but hhhhhhhh. I'm seething and I can't fucking get any of this BS done and AAA I just want to REST but NOOO, I have to go play minecraft for 5 fucking hours and draw stupid shit for 3 hours and fucking waste my existence away! I haven't gotten a fucking shower in a godamn WEEK! But noooo, I can't just GET UP and do that! I have to fuck around doing bullshit that just hurts my fucking body because of my stupid negative urgency ass!!

((I react really stupidly impulsive to stress and do shit I shouldn't)) it's not even like I'm hurting myself on purpose, I'm just such a bitch I keep the cycle going and going and going and FUCK!! I swear I'm fucking trying I swear to god I hate this too but it NEVER FUCKUNG WORKS I just go a tiny bit feeling okay and them BAM the moment I am stressed or worried I go fuck off to neverland and horrifically fuck myself over!!!

((I've been hyperfixating in a...really bad way lately, more than usual. I'm not talking abt the quirky or cool shit, I'm talking my muscles tense up so bad they hurt and my wrists go numb and my fucking legs twist round each other so bad that I can barely fucking walk.)) Hhhhhhh. It's like cutting off my other leg after college has already broken the other one.

College has completely fucked me over and sent me on a stupid spiral for the millionth time but this time idk if I'll even get out of this in one piece bc this stupid hyperfixating has drained energy that isn't even THERE. I fucking spent just under 2 hours fuckibg reading 16,232 WORDS for psychology on Monday and my fucking shoulders BURNED from sitting tense at my computer and AAAA. Then I spiraled MORE Tuesday bc I didn't wanna do that AGAIN. Bc my stupid ass psych textbook is online only, and DOESNT HAVE A PAGE COUNT OR WORD COUNT! So Monday I didn't even KNOW what I was getting myself into and fucked up!! And then Tuesday I got a word counter that worked for the site and was able to FINALLY finish chapter 1 for psych only to spiral AGAIN! Because THEN I realized it'd take around 3 hours for each chapter and I have to read chapter 2 TOO for this week!

But I thought I had to do it ALL YESTERDAH bc the godamn discussion board bullshit is supposedly due on Thursdays! ((The syllabus is inaccurate, and I only got that Thursday bit from a different document. It's unclear if part 1 is on Thurs or not. The first half is making a FUCKING ESSAY with 3 paragraphs, thesis, citation, etc. And part 2 is responding to 2 people with 8 sentences and a citation but GUESS WHAT! Each response is 1 point! And the main essay/post is 8 points! Combined they're just TEN DAMN POINTS! THERES ONLY 8 WHY DO I NEED TO DO A FUCJING ESSAY?!???!))

I DID manage to do the stupid discussion on Thurs, bc I said fuck it and didn't read ch 2. But NOW I have 3 hrs of reading to do STILL. PLUS I seem to have THE SAME FUCKING AMIUNT FOR ENGKISH!!! I thought English was chill but NOOOO, it has these stupid pdf photocopies of a book and I have to take screenshots to annotate bc otherwise it's just a useless text that I can't do anything with! And it'll probably take like 2 hours to read JUST THE FIRST CHAPTER! THERES THREEE FUCKUNG CHSPTERS LIKE THIS! WHYY!! And I thought reading was GOOD AND EASY BUT NO! My fucking body is so squishy and fragile that it breaks instantly and I can't fucking read for more than an hour and FUCKKK I WISH I HAD A PAPER COPY OF THIS SHIT! BUT ITD COST MOREEEE!!

It's not even like this shits HARD TO UNDERSTAND. I KNOW THIS! LITERALKY I fucking recognize EVERYTHUNG in psych so far like is this NECESSARY?? I KNOW that reading is IMPORTANT and I should do it but FUCK!! IS IT WORTH DESTROYING MYSELF?????

And I wanna quit psych but that feels like the cowards way out bc I KNEW there'd be lots of work. I fucking knew what would come about but here I am!! In the fuckibg spiral! And I haven't said any of this to my mom bc she's tired enough and I just want to get this shit done. I feel like I'm eating my own body and health, sacrificing it, to try to do this shit that I know I probably need to give up on. But I don't wanna just STOP, I DO like psych and I wanna learn!! I WANT to be here!! But I can't fucking get this bullshit reading done and it's driving me insane!!!

AND!!! AND NOT TO MENTION MY FUCKIN MEDS!! My adhd meds are regulated heavily so I only get a month's worth but my pharmacy/doc are so unreliable when filling it that I have to assume I may not have any for a few fucking days. AND THATS A DEATH WISH IN COLLEGE!! One fuckjng day missed is MASSIVE. Even tho I'm all online and shit I CANT RISK IT, but I only have ONE!! ONE! And it's already fuckjnv 4 pm rn and I've still got 10 page for English ch 1 and then the 3 hrs psych reading and the idk 2 hrs English ch 2 reading and FUCK HOW DO I DO THIS??? And I really wanna have a chill time on Halloween so I wanna get next week done ASAP but this week's a bitch in itself and AAAAAAA!!

[pe0pleall3rgy]

ALRIGHT RESPONDING IN ORDER OF WHEN YOU RESPONDED BECAUSE I TALK TOO MUCH GOOO

reply about the fuckers getting sick- ford being a dramatic motherfucker is my entire livelihood, he's like a scarecrow filled with emotional issues and drama queeniness (and yes it was very fun but my brother had to fucking catch me 😭 we laughed afterward tho again very stan twins core)

drawing tips- honestly looking at silly stock photos is so real i have a collection of william shakespeare photos in silly situations like dancing to an mp3 player and shit its awesome i plan on slowly unloading all of them onto my friends

STEVEN UNIVERSE- su was my biggest hyperfixation before gravity falls came back (fun fact: gf was my first hyperfixation) i fucking love it so much dude, my favorite motherfucker is steven but if we're going gem-gem i'd sayyyyyyyyyyyyy peridot for sure because shes just like me fr plus she's easy to draw (also YES ford projecting onto shit to articulate his feelings YES YES because his dad taught them to be BIG STRONG MEN who DONT FEEL EMOTIONS)

boxing and ford getting a concussion- he would absolutely have victories like that because he's ford yk, he would actually destroy stan in like a sparring match then stan would call it foul because "ford that wasnt boxing you kicked me in the head" "what? i thought that was allowed" "it was one of the first things i told you you weren't allowed to do" "damn 😔"

unrequited love 😔😔- his sleep schedule sure is a tragedy yes 🙏

the one where i talked about where's waldo- STOP FORD SAYINH WALDO WHEN I FIND YOU WALDO HAD ME FUCKING CACKLING IM NOT OKAY BECAUSE OF THA7DDKFKUDHKH FAV SHIT and the part about the sweaters i can imagine like they're fighting off a gremloblin and ford gets a tear in his like pink glittery sweater or some absurd shit only mabel would make and fucking doom music starts playing ford stares dead into the gremloblin's eyes and it sees ITS worst nightmare (five seconds from then)

flat stanley- haha im glad i could permanently alter your view on a childhood memory you're welcome but WHY DID YOU BURY HIM IN THE SNOW WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THAT

check out how hard i can cry- the way i added that to my collection of reaction images so fast

and finally yOUR ART HUKHKHFKHFKHSDKFHKSDUHFKUSHF I LOVE YOUR ART SO MUCHHHHHHH

also have i mentioned that ford probably swears by mabel juice

stan says its like if coffee and nightmares had a baby and that just seems right up his alley to me

he'll take the entire pitcher out of the fridge fully intending to drink all of it like "i am going to meet god in approximately six minutes" and stan will just take it from him and pour it down the sink

I’m giggling over the gremloblin being like “oh no I fucked up”

Flat Stanley got a snow burial because I wanted to test his endurance. He was cheaply laminated and I thought he could take it. Luckily they didn’t deduct points from me for water damage!

HEHEHE I’m imaging Mabel being like “grunkle stan! Can you give this Mabel juice to grunkle ford for me? I just made a fresh batch!” And he’s like “sure, pumpkin” and immediately pours the whole thing away the moment she’s out of sight.

[themiracleofteddybearmanifestos]

Spoilers for Heaven Official's Blessing/TGCF

I've finished reading TGCF in record time (for me) and now idk what to do cause it was my hyperfixation and now that I'm done I'm depressed.

Anyways all that aside, since it's literally permeated my brain to the point it's rotting, any song I hear makes me think of it and here are my top few recent ones that I really love

Without further adieu, Songs That Remind Me of Heaven Official's Blessing:

1) Everything In You - HalfShy, Adventure Time. Lyrics:

You and me We got something to lose Boy, you got your dreams I got everything in you And I'll be there through all the reveries 'Cause I believe in you more than I ever believed in me Ooh, and I love you, love you, love you No, it's not so hard to tell And I love you, love you, love you Is it obvious to everyone else?

And maybe this is killing part of me But it ain't called love without a little tragedy

Explanation: Pretty straightforward, it's Hua Cheng's perspective. He's dedicated to the max. Though the intention here differs from the original context of the song in AT, it still applies. The tragedy here is not stemming from their relationship, but damn these two are poster children for tragic back stories.

2) J's Lullaby - Delaney Bailey. Lyrics:

Darlin', I'd wait for you Even if you didn't ask me to Tie a lasso around the moon And bring it on down to you I'd bottle the feelin' you give me And shelve that stuff for years to come 'Cause, baby, when your arms are around me I'd swear that I'm holding the sun I'd give you the sun if you asked me You could have all of the time You could have the stars and the trees When dividin' up the universe You could have mine You could have mine Darlin', I wish that you Could give me some more time To herd the whole sky in my arms And release it when you're mine

Explanation: again, very applicable to Hua Cheng's perspective. This song is one of the most intensely dedicated and heartfelt love songs and Hua Cheng is maybe the most loyal person to ever exist (800 years and not a single negative thought about Xie Lian, never a doubt in his mind of how much he loves him or if he should give up). Seriously, this song fits SO well I feel like to explain it would be redundant.

3) Little Life, Cordelia

Explanation: So, this one for me made me think of Xie Lian and the domestic little life he has with Hua Cheng and how much that means to him. This one isn't just lyrical, it's the whole sound and feeling of the song which is why I included it instead of writing the lyrics.

4) Slipping Through My Fingers - ABBA/Meryl Streep (both versions are good). Lyrics:

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness And I have to sit down for a while The feeling that I'm losing her forever And without really entering her world I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter That funny little girl Slipping through my fingers all the time I try to capture every minute The feeling in it Slipping through my fingers all the time Do I really see what's in her mind Each time I think I'm close to knowing She keeps on growing Slipping through my fingers all the time

Explanation: This one's a lot different as this actually made me think of Xie Lian's mom. Seeing her son grow into a god and witnessing the distance grow between them. She was fully supportive and had so much love for her son, but he grew further and further away from her. This one gets me real sad, even if his mom wasn't super present in the story it's still heartbreaking.

And yeah, basically every song will remind me of the series ATM bc it's literally all that's on my mind but these 4 especially did and made me want to edit videos but I don't have that kinda time or energy or talent lmao. But the series is just.... Ughhhh it's such a beautiful story, even with any questionable moments/details, it's genuinely such a fantastically written series and GOD the love between Xie Lian and Hua Cheng is painfully beautiful. I don't love codependency but idec with these two they're both so supportive of each other and both fully want to be together at all times and you know what I also want them to be together at all times, they deserve it. I knew there was a lot of trauma since I first watched the show in 2021 and have been a fan, but actually reading all the books and learning everything is gut wrenching and heartbreaking and yet so beautiful and satisfying.

[ayrsontenna]

Hey it’s one of those question thingies! Thank you @marieshyperf1xations for tagging me <3

Are you named after anyone?

Nope, my parents just wanted a nice sounding name, no homages to anyone.

When was the last time you cried?

Don’t remember really, I don’t cry very often…

Do you have kids?

No, thank God.

What sports do you play/have played?

I used to play handball at school, but stopped when I graduated. Now I occasionally play volleyball with my friends, and if it counts, I run, cycle, and I’m recently learning how to roller skate.

Do you use sarcasm?

Mostly when I’m upset, other than that it’s very rare.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

The way they talk, I don’t know why lmao and the way they treat other people, if I don’t like it, I don’t even bother with them.

What’s your eye color?

Light brown. Kinda boring, I know.

Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies! Love ‘em.

Any talents?

I’m not going to say talent, but I’m very adept at most types of art and have tried a lot of different mediums. My favorite ones so far are painting, drawing and music, even if I haven’t played any instruments in a while so I’m rusty.

Where were you born?

My whole blog is Ayrton Senna themed, so it’s not hard to guess lol

Brasil-sil-sil samba football caipirinha giant jesus come to brasil

What are your hobbies?

Oof there are a LOT. Drawing, painting, reading (I really need to pick this one back up again), watching movies, playing acoustic guitar (also need to pick this one back up again), crochet, baking, handcrafts in general (whatever I feel like making), hyperfixating (I mean… look at this blog), sometimes I write?? Don’t know if it counts as a hobby

Do you have any pets?

I have a cat named Max that appeared on this blog already, a turtle named Lilica, and I had a dog named Penelope. Max is the laziest cat I’ve ever met I swear to God, Lilica likes to bite fingers, and Penelope used to be pretty civil with anything that wasn’t another dog.

How tall are you?

158cm, which is 5’2?? Idk

Favorite subject in school?

I really liked History, Biology, Physics, Sociology and Philosophy. I wasn’t very good at Math but liked it.

Dream job?

Anything to do with art. Can’t even imagine myself doing anything else.

If you read this whole thing till the end you’re tagged, like those facebook curse chains, the only difference is that if you don’t want to do it nothing bad happens cause those things were dumb.

[heffrondriving]

You know I’ve got it bad for ya Give up all I had for ya You gon’ make me beg for ya Baby, if you wanna live it up, I’m down ‘Cause I’m never giving you up